me hypocrite

Felix said that i only dare to scold behind a person's back, when that person is right in front of me i will be most friendly as if im expecting some kind of tips.......eeerrr actually yah lar,weeks ago, i caught flu from my cousin who came to s'pore and stayed at my house, the worst thing was the flu came with a vertigo after effect...again.....n i was in the exam period....again.....then i was cursing and cursing him like nobody's business but whenever he phoned i sounded nice......
eh,.....am i somekind of hypocrite

Numb

Sometimes i wonder if 'feelings' is actually a curse that God has put upon human race, as in a curse that comes along after those idiots called adam n eve ate that fruit....actually, adam-eve is a super crappy story....my point is 'feelings' as in emotion, maybe a curse, what if we are like robots, programmed.....we humans in a way is kinda programmed too right, with all that genetic and environment and blablabla...what if we are numb, i guess life will be less less less complicated and less uneasy...what is the feeling of numb...i wanna feel numb.......